All my fragile strength is gone

Changed, like sunshine, can be a friend or a foe, a blessing or a curse, a dawn or a dusk.

...This change isn't easy...

"I will go where You want me to Go

Do what You want me to do

Say what You want me to say

To speak to the person You want me to speak to

....and at the end of the day, I will ask for forgiveness of the things I fell short and rejoice in the places I've done Your will.

Through that, I will have done the will of God every day of my life."

...Guide me oh Lord, lead me. Strengthen me, my God. ..I'm realizing how fragile my strength is...

Seek first in every situation, in every breath, in every thought, in every word.

" we not only need to know the message for the world, but also need to know the world in which the message must be communicated. "


...Take us home Jesus. please.

Why...tellme.

"While working with Jews, I live like a Jew" but "when working with Gentiles i live like a Gentile." 1 Corinthians 9:19-22
...A thorough understanding of the meaning of culture is a prerequisite to any effective communication of God's good news to a different people group. God values culture, He doesn't think like we do. He looks at the heart, not at our external behaviors.  You don't have to become like me culturally to become Christian.

...just a little something we were taught today...

Honestly.... I have a question for all of you.

Do you really believe that what you believe is really real?
...read that a couple times..
(a pastor asked me this today)
Do you really believe
-That God exists?
-That Jesus was sent to earth
-That Jesus is the Son of God
-That dying on the cross saved us
-That hell is a real place of weeping and gnashing of teeth where the worm never dies?
-That those who don't accept Christ as the Son of God are going to Hell?

.....If yes, then why don't we spend more time telling people about Jesus? 
Why haven't we made it a priority to our every MOMENT?
TELL ME WHY!
If you truly believed in Hell, why don't you spend more time taking EVERY opportunity preaching the gospel and sometimes using words?

...God has me here for a reason, but honestly what is the reason? Because all I can think about every single day as we go through the same exact routine over and over again is WHY AM I NOT OUT THERE WITNESSING! People need to be hearing the good news of Jesus... gosh dang it. Writing this is bringing tears to my eyes. People need Him...there are so many hurting souls that need a hug and prayer and most importantly Jesus's love. ....Do I have time to be here in the middle of Christopher Robin's 1000 acre woods? Jesus is coming to take us home soon and I want as many brothers and sisters to be taken up in the clouds with me. I want a big GIANT family! I want to run out of this place so badly and just go on the streets and love on people. There are so many homeless out there, even you who are reading this might be homeless! I'm not only talking about homeless in body, but also those who are homeless is spirit. You can be living in a great big home and still be considered homeless to me; because you have not found your spiritual home yet...I know where your home is. God has built you Mansions :) I have one too! Our Home is in Jesus and His home is in us. What an awesome deal that is.
I want to run away and go out into this lost world.....sharing the gospel to the homeless spirits....
honestly...I can think of a billion people I've passed by in life, at school, the gas station, grocery store, etc. that I could have easily talked to about Jesus.. But I didn't...Funny..because Hell is a real place.. How awfully selfish can I get? I feel selfish sitting here.. Why can't I die completely to self and use my time more wisely?
..listen...i know my last entry was talking about how I'm here to be trained. We are here being trained to run to the gates of hell and back. which is so true. I love the training we get here, my classes bring so much Joy to me! They are so useful and Christ directed.  But the isolation is killing me. I need to be out there, communicating with hurting hearts. These four months of solitude are going to rip my heart apart. I don't know if Christ is teaching me patience or what...but honestly, I feel like I'm losing precious time in being a disciple for Jesus while I spend most my time on this ranch.

We are going to a Harvest Festival for a mental institution tomorrow. Praise the Lord! I'm so incredibly excited for it. I can't wait to go to bed tonight so tomorrow will be here sooner.

Skull church...you intimidate me

Wednesday...Well i was going to tell you guys about my first full day of classes... but something else went down tonight that drowns out all the importance in my day of class. 

SKULL CHURCH
Before I continue, I need to make clear that I am not bashing this church. It was obvious to me that it has fruit and God is moving within those walls. But I personally have never been more scared entering into a Christian church. The building was a retired Movie Theater and as we (Darla, Erin, and I) walked in, we were greeted by a man wearing balloon pants with zippers and chains, I held out my hand to say hello, taking a quick glance at his arms, I noticed his wrists and arms were wrapped in black cloth. I love self expression and individuality, but it confuses me how some one can be filled with God's joy yet express himself in such a dark mannor.. Darla, Erin and I are new to Montana and Skull Church, so we entered this place not knowing what to expect next. Pottersfield Ranch loves this church, I'm not sure why... As we made our way through the front doors, immediately our eyes caught on to the countless skulls. Skull pictures, drawings, digital skulls, and as we sat down there was a half skelten half human poster on the stage. The lights were dimmed and red, music filled the building with screams and screeching. This was no ordinary church music. They called it alternative, punk rock, metal, scream, whatever, to me it felt satanic. I got chills as we settled into our seats, I turned to view the expression on Darla's face and I knew i wasn't alone on this one. She gave me a half smile and we both leaned into each other to whisper "what is this place?" Suppposedly it's a Bible teaching Church. I noticed people were holding their Bibles, so that was a good sign...but none of us felt good the moment we walked into the doors of this darkened movie theater. I could tell the whole service was geered towards the younger crowd, they did a good job making it a church that attracts a certain type of people. I guess I wasn't cool enough to fit that certain type of crowd. In turn, it left me scared of my shadow.

...I have never experienced a church like Skull Church... The worship began and people stood in like manner, but I couldn't tell whether the band leader was singing about his girlfriend or Jesus... I knew none of the words, and the style of music gave me the creeps. I'm sad that churches have to go to that extent to meet the people's needs in making it a comfortable enviroment...Comfortable to who is my question..
The sermon began, we went through Eccl. 6. It was real simple and I do not doubt that the Holy Spirit was moving and speaking through this man. Around 10 people were saved tonight at the alter call. It just proves to us all that God works through anyone and uses all situations for the furtherance of His Kingdom. Going to Skull church was something I've never experienced before in my life and I don't ever want to go back. ..Too bad we have to go there every wednesday. I'm not sure how I'll handle this for four months...


Today we had cross cultural studies. I have found my new love for this class. I'm so excited to wake up tomorrow and sit in another full 9-5 hour day of classes! Our teacher reminded me of a mixture between Einstein and the main character in the pixar film Up. He was so cute, I've never paid more attention in a class in my life. I will most definitely continue to inform you guys on the interesting things I learn during my time here.


...so... this day was interesting to say the least...I don't like that i've only been here for 5 days and each day has felt like a week..I miss home :(

send me letters and love por favor
Brittany Harris
C.O. Pottersfield Ranch
P.O. box 68 Olney Montana, 59927

Running to the gates of Hell..

"Life consists of your time..."

Today was an important day to be paying attention.. there was no room for being homesick. I consistently had to snatch my thoughts back into captivity so I could gain the most out of the crucial words spoken to me. I was overwhelmed and fearful of losing my concentration..I realized how important it was for me to not allow my thoughts to wander and I continued to mistakenly yearn for friendships and the life I knew. I'm frightened to let go of what I perceive as life, yet I'm even more scared to hold on.  Our life consists of our time, how am I using this time I have here in Montana? This cold, sunless, isolated place...


Today I realized why I am here..I'm here to be a runner. But to be a runner, I must go through training :) I'm here to go into this war we fight and be the one running back and forth from the gates of Hell, snatching the lost and the weary who sleep at the gates. Bearing witness for the Lord will never be a waste!   This quiet, cold, isolated time is a priviledge.


The Lord calls us to be a witness in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.


My prayer request I ask of you is that God places my desires in my heart. NOT me placing my own desires. Its so much easier said than done..oh my gosh... its so much easier said.  Pastor Mike asked us today what is it that we really like to do? Because God has formed me in that manner. God created our inner being, my personality, my likes and dislikes. Yet, that comes with fully laying down and surrendering my life to Christ, so He can mold me. I will be deciding by the second module where God is calling me to go forth and give hugs and smiles in Jesus's name. So prayer is needed :) You guys are my strength! Prayer is so powerful!

HIGHLIGHTS

METH or LIFE  --  I found out after class today that we were to visit an old folks home. As we were on our way there, we got lost and ended up at the top of "suicide hill" and drove through some sketch neighborhoods. We passed a sign on the road that said "METH or LIFE" with an arrow pointing towards which you choose... the arrow was on Meth. I tried getting a picture of it...we also passed a man standing outside of his house, caressing his cat, staring at our van the multiple times we drove by.  haha.
...its funny to me that these have already become our highlights.. I wonder what will excite us in 3 months.  People here keep saying Walmart will be a thrill.
At the old folks home we sang hymns and praise songs, and met some wonderful people.  Sid and Hank were my two favorites, one was a 91 yr old man, the other was 80 and full of spunk. They contributed to our music by singing and playing the harmonica. The rest of the time I got to sit next to them and crack jokes about their age. We compared childhoods and I realized how much I wish I lived back then. 
The birds sang with us today as we sang worship. So beautiful. Gave me the chills.

He was my favorite :)

I SAW THE SUN TODAY! In the morning the sun peeked through the clouds. It was GORGEOUS.  But then it rained all day.

Also, I've had so much fun getting to know these girls. Two of the girls I've gotten really close with are from Philadelphia. They have accents, all day we compared the ways we say certain words. :)

By the way, why don't people vacation in Montana more often? there are SO MANY beautiful lakes out here.

I'm a cake decorator!

"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends."

1 john 15:13

Today we had orientation, it was real great.  I'm excited to finally start classes tomorrow! After lunch, we cleaned the ranch for five hours. Who knew you could get that detailed with cleaning! Base boards, light switches, the works. During our cleaning sesh, Darla and I killed a black spider with Bleach, Simple Green, and Commit. Probably the biggest andrenaline rush we had all day. We (darla, sarah, and i)  had Kitchen Partol today, that was fun. They have a dishwasher here that literally takes two minutes to run through and clean the dishes. Best invention ever. I have a weird love for washing dishes..I bet that will change by the end of my training here.

"..Let all things be done decently and in order." 1 Corithians 14:40

Tonight was a girls night for Amy's 20th birthday. This is where I discovered my cake decorating abilities. You know your good when you can decorate a cake with a ziplock bag filled with frosting :)

my creation

We also made delicious "white trash" "dog chow" "crack"  whatever you may call it.

its basically chex, peanutbutter, butter, chocolate, and powdered sugar. Can we say yum?

I have a feeling God is going to be doing a lot in my heart these next few months.. I know He is faithful to teach, correct, and convict. I'm a little nervous.. Pottersfield is giving us as interns a chance to spiritually lay down our lives to deny our "self", love others, abide and the Word of God, and bear much fruit. They keep telling me that being a trainee, I can expect every aspect of my experience in the program to bring me to the point of absolute dependence on God.

Stoked.

Pray for me and the other trainees. We are in desperate need of prayers.

First days at PFR Montana

Arriving to Montana....My flight here wasn't too eventful.. people were really nice and made lots of eye contact. I like that. I slept most my way here, I was struggling to not start crying each time i woke up, so i got up to use the restroom in the back of the cabin. The flight attendant asked if he could get me a drink. So as he poured me a cup of coffee we got to talking about where I was headed. Pottersfield Ranch Montana! He was so thrilled and exactly the encouragement I needed, I love how God works. We continued to talk about where we are from and the churches we attend. He had a kind and gentle spirit. 
I had such mixed feelings about leaving home and living here in Montana. To me, it still seems surreal. I miss home.We haven't started classes yet or serving, everything starts on Tuesday. Tomorrow is our orientation, I'm a little bit nervous for it. It's very different here.. But a good different.. I'm a little culture shocked. But I'm excited to see what God has in store because, as of now, it feels impossible to last the next four months without His strength completely holding me together. I live with two very sweet girls in a room. I got the top bunk, so that's exciting. I get to put my glow in the dark stars on the sealing, praise Jesus :) I caught a throat cold the day I arrived, so my voice is gone and my throat has been on fire. I've been so exhausted, practically falling asleep anywhere I take a seat.
Last night and this morning (Sunday church) we helped out at Calvary Flathead. Playing with kids and breaking down everything. It's a thrill to be a servant for Jesus.

So, my first day here in Montana has been great, minus my cold and exhaustion. We currently have Internet in our rooms which isn't normal I guess and they are going it fix it soon. So I will do my best in keeping this blog updated and share what God is doing :)


prayer in the plane-

"Lord Jesus Christ, You are my forever love. All that I have, I owe to you...Your creation screams how vast and out of mind you are. I'm sitting in the plane's cabin staring out the window, we're soaring above the clouds. You created these clouds, they are beauty. More beautiful than I remembered. I'm amazed by You! You created the clouds! Nothing in this world can ever separate us! You are my father, my heart, my creator, my everything! ...The heavens are Your creation. You are out of mind. Jesus, You are alive! What a happy day this is. I am Yours, Jesus, my Father, my Love, my Friend.
Use my Lord, use me..Guide me Jesus, guide me... Teach me, correct me, mold and shape my heart, fulfill me and overflow me. You be the potter, I'll be the clay. Hosanna in the highest. Be my Jesus Most High. King of kings. Lord of my life, my heart, my mind, let my members praise your name. I surrender to you this day, Sept 18 that you my God, my love, my best friend, will keep me focused. Keep me convicted and corrected and following you Jesus, my love, my savior. Give me guidance. I move when you move. I love you. I thank you savior. Please keep saving me.

Love, your daughter. Amen"